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26 June 2016 @ 05:10 am
Sisterly love  
To get a sense of how your older child might feel about the addition of the new baby, imagine this:
Your husband puts an arm around you and says: "Honey, I love you so much, and you're so wonderful that I've decided to have another wife just like you." When the new wife finally arrives, you see that she's very young and kind of cute. When the three of you are out together, people say hello to you politely, but exclaim ecstatically over the newcomer. "Isn't she adorable! Hello sweetheart... You are precious!" Then they turn to you and ask: "How do you like the new wife?"

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Stolen from Sannichka
 
 
 
topum: pic#125858796topum on July 3rd, 2016 12:32 am (UTC)
Ha ha. There is a difference though, the new wife is not blood related to the existing wife.
Dennis Gorelikdennisgorelik on July 3rd, 2016 01:11 am (UTC)
1) Small children do not get the concept of being a blood relative yet.
2) New wife could be a blood relative (e.g. younger sister of the old wife).
Would it change much?

Edited at 2016-07-03 01:11 am (UTC)
topum: pic#125858796topum on July 3rd, 2016 01:15 am (UTC)
I think 2) would change it somewhat.
Small children might not get the concept of a blood relative but they still know that the new sibling is born in their family and has nothing except it, they did not come from the outside world where they were "strangers" to them prior to joining the family (and where they can go back and become "strangers" once again). I think it makes it slightly different.
Dennis Gorelikdennisgorelik on July 3rd, 2016 01:50 am (UTC)
"Slightly different" - I agree. But not much.

And in case of adopted children even that slight difference disappear.
topum: pic#125858796topum on July 3rd, 2016 01:52 am (UTC)
Not much, yes. It does become way more similar with adopted children but the difference does not disappear entirely I think.
Dennis Gorelikdennisgorelik on July 3rd, 2016 01:58 am (UTC)
What's the remaining difference in attitude in case of adopted children vs multiple wives?
topum: pic#125858796topum on July 3rd, 2016 02:03 am (UTC)
You generally can't "divorce" children and have them "remarry" other parents. At least it is much less common than it is with wives. Once children become yours they are much more likely to stay yours than wives.
Dennis Gorelikdennisgorelik on July 3rd, 2016 02:09 am (UTC)
Yes you can.
You can give your children up for adoption, or give them to your parents or leave your spouse and children.
It happens frequently.
Besides, after children grow up (which does not really take that long) - they leave their parents anyway.

> Once children become yours they are much more likely to stay yours than wives.

I'm not sure about that.
Spouses stay together in 50% of cases.
Most of children leave their parents after they grow up.
There is no surprise here: we choose our spouses, but we do not choose our children and parents.
topum: pic#125858796topum on July 3rd, 2016 08:34 am (UTC)
After children grow up they are not children. Even after they leave they are still ours, they don't become someone else's children. Wives are not and do. Yes, one can give their kids so that they become someone else's but it happens much much less often then divorces. The kid is unlikely to know anyone who gave up their kids in such a way and are very likely to know some divorcees. Wives are much more likely to think "He got another wife, he might divorce me now" than the kids to think "my parents had another kid, I am going to orphanage now".