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08 December 2003 @ 11:06 am
Friends and emotional support  
Many people expect emotional support from friends.
I don't.
Moreover, I think that emotional support from friends is very dangerous thing.

Example: I offended someone on a street. Someone offended me back.
If my friend provides pure emotional support to me then the friend probably will say that this someone is a bad guy and that I was right.
But the reality is that I was wrong and have to correct my behavior.

That's why I prefer to get situation/behavior analysis instead of emotional support.

I'd better get emotional support from people who are happy about my behavior. And they are happy because my friends help me to make my behavior better.

If you want to be my friend, please, be sincere with me: tell me when I'm right and tell me when I'm wrong. Especially when I'm wrong.

I appreciate truth very much.
Much more than emotional support.
 
 
 
pmanager on December 8th, 2003 01:22 pm (UTC)
holy shit!
you are one tough cookie! ;)
Dennis Gorelikdennisgorelik on December 8th, 2003 03:25 pm (UTC)
What do you mean?
What do you mean by that?
pmanager on December 8th, 2003 10:23 pm (UTC)
Re: What do you mean?
да прикололся я просто ;) я тоже лично предпочел бы чтобы правду в глаза, но чаще всего наоборот...
Dennis Gorelikdennisgorelik on December 9th, 2003 07:09 am (UTC)
Re: What do you mean?
Usually people don't tell truth or usually you prefer not to hear the truth? :-)
Maxhobober on December 9th, 2003 11:38 am (UTC)
Re: What do you mean?
> What do you mean by that?

"What do you mean by that?
That is not an answer.
You're deep in trouble friend,
Someone Christ,
King of the Jews.
How can someone in your state be so cool about his fate?
An amazing thing, this silent king.
Since you come from Galilee, then you need not come to me,
You're Herod's race!
You're Herod's case! "

(c) Jesus Christ Superstar
Dennis Gorelikdennisgorelik on December 9th, 2003 12:02 pm (UTC)
Re: What do you mean?
Hob> (c) Jesus Christ Superstar

You knew it! You knew it!
:-)
Dmitri Soshnikovshwars on December 8th, 2003 03:03 pm (UTC)
Emotional support vs. Truth Analysis
One reason I like Denis so much is that he can make complicated things simple and logical. From the logical point of view, if our ultimate goal is to optimize the effectiveness of the behaviour of all human beings on earth - the approach sounds perfectly right. However, I would say we should all care about our personal happiness - and not the total happiness of the humankind! That is because global multi-criterial optimization is a tough thing... while local happiness is easier to reach. From this point of view, for some people emotional support can be better in certain cases, especially those not related to correct/incorrect behaviour (there are cases when the situation is unfavourable despite our own behaviour, just because something happened "out there").
Dennis Gorelikdennisgorelik on December 8th, 2003 03:34 pm (UTC)
Re: Emotional support vs. Problem Analysis
I agree that in short term emotional support is better than Problem Analysis. But only in Short term.

I agree that some people just not able to situation analysis, so there is no sense to torture them by Problem Analysis conversation.

That's why some people prefer Emotional support over Problem Analysis.

I know that such people exist.
I know that usually I don't enjoy such people much and they don't enjoy me much too :-)

I know that people who value Emotional Support over Problem Analysis don't achieve in their life as much as people who value Problem Analysis.

Any objections? :-)
(Anonymous) on January 15th, 2004 07:24 am (UTC)
ты становишься америкосом!
ты становишься америкосом!
(Anonymous) on January 15th, 2004 07:25 am (UTC)
это был никита
это был никита